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When Life Hurts Your Feelings... Don’t take it Personally!

By Vianna Vivante

Over the years, people have come and gone with the seasons of my life and theirs. Some have gone through, death, divorce, relocation for job opportunities, or simply drifting away. So, this has brought me to the very place in my life where I have few significant people who are close to me.

I am blessed to be the primary caregiver of a close relative who is taking a journey in their life with cancer. As the saying goes, it is a double edged sword as it is a gift to have this time to share with him, but it is heartfelt and painful to watch his struggle not only with cancer and a heart condition, but with the stress of potentially contracting Covid-19 as well. During all of this, I am going through a transformational healing myself from my recent divorce, processing a 21-year relationship that has come to completion.

I know we are living in very unique times and the need to have minimal human contact has really forced me to channel my energy into my heart. I have been listening to my heart and finding my true nature which is kindness, compassion, empathy, peace and love. I cannot believe how painful this process is but also how rewarding. The moments I spend with myself has shown me how wonderful it is to take the time to go still and just be.

I have struggled with not being able to give hugs or spend quality time with people. These were obviously things I took for granted. However, the conversations with these same people are so tender and loving that I don’t believe they would have occurred if not for the circumstances.

One of the ways I am coping with today’s challenges is avoiding current events. I am grateful to be in a position where I can avoid the news, and like some of you, I have people in my life who choose to stay current with what is going on in the world. It has been very easy to establish my boundaries by requesting them to keep the world news out of our conversations. You might be surprised, but it is easier to do than you may imagine! My friends have told me they enjoy the relaxed nature of our conversations, and depths of connectedness by talking of family, friends, dreams, plans and enjoying the sense of peacefulness and ease after having left the world’s chaos behind the closed door. What great feedback to get!